Autism, Family, Uncategorized

Self-Doubt

There are times when you can forget that Sawyer is autistic, particularly when you are around him a lot of the time. But whereas when he was 2-years-old you could disregard or give reason to the differences in him for maybe an hour at a time, these days it comes as tiny snippets. Fragments of… Continue reading Self-Doubt

Autism, Family, Uncategorized

Orientation

One of the most incredible parts of being an autism parent is having to make life-changing decisions before 10am, and then spend the rest of the day pretending it never happened. I left Sawyer’s EHCP meeting in a baffled haze at around 10.30am and made my way in to work for Christmas lunch. Mainstream school… Continue reading Orientation

Autism, Family, Uncategorized

The Show Must Go On

Raising an autistic child often feels like a battle you might never win. And I’ve found that the best way to survive is to break down the difficulties in to smaller chunks - divide and conquer, so to speak. The only trouble with it is that the battles come fast and frequently, leaving little time… Continue reading The Show Must Go On

Autism, Family

2 Steps Back

Sawyer sailed through Year 3 with relative ease and for a minute there it looked like his additional support really had been a magic key that had opened the door to a calm and positive education. As the summer term came to an end both Sawyer and his sister were eager to begin the six… Continue reading 2 Steps Back

Autism, Family

The Bigger Picture

The emotions that run through me when I watch this old video are so conflicting. I'm filled with love. It seems like forever ago and also like yesterday. I remember those pyjamas, the new baby smell, the sleepless exhilaration that came with becoming mother of two children. But I also remember the feeling in the… Continue reading The Bigger Picture

Autism, Family, Uncategorized

New Beginnings

I’ll never forget the first time Sawyer dropped a mince pie, picked it up, dropped it, picked it up again and placed it onto Santa’s tray. By the time his sixth year rolled around I was finally able to tell people that Sawyer was starting to get excited for Christmas. Although it happened far later… Continue reading New Beginnings

Autism, Family, Uncategorized

Stolen Christmas

Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming, "I must find some way to keep Christmas from coming!"   When I was pregnant with Sawyer and I looked forward to the experiences parenthood would bring, Christmas was high up on my list. Growing up, I loved Christmas. I remember racing home from school on… Continue reading Stolen Christmas

Autism, Family, Uncategorized

Floodgates

By the time Sawyer started school, most of my anxieties were fuelled by a fear that he would be misunderstood. He had not long since turned 4 years old when he went in to reception class, and had been verbal for only a few short weeks. Sawyer’s inability to keep still remained his overarching characteristic,… Continue reading Floodgates

Autism, Family

Childhood Sweethearts

Before we received Sawyer’s diagnosis of autism, I struggled to explain his unusual behaviours to other parents. I desperately wanted them to see how sweet and loving he was, but often those traits were masked by his inability to keep still, his fondness for running headlong in to walls, and his exceptional talent for breaking… Continue reading Childhood Sweethearts

Autism, Family

School Disco

Just before the end of half term, Sawyer announced that he wanted to go to his Halloween-themed school disco. His Dad and I looked up at each other in disbelief, shock, and a little bit of fear. Sawyer has never been able to cope with the sensory overload of a disco. Between the flashing lights, loud… Continue reading School Disco